How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
