PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
