shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
