well I can't set my house on fire every night
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Found your dick twin last night
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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