Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
