Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
