It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
