I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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