that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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