shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
