My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
