i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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