i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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