Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
