Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
