what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
