Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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