Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
