Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
