It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I want a musical about memes.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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