And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize