hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
