You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
