Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
