it hurts more in the daytime
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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