i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
