arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
