I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just forgot I was standing up.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
