i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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