We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
