what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
