I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
