yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
