That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Randomize
