Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
