some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize