4 words: hood of his car
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
