If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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