I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
