I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize