Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
