Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
