I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize