Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
