I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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