singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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