Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
