If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
