She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
