Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
