I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
