Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
