Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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