just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
