i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
