How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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