I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
