I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
