you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
