Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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