I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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