I wannas sexs uuuuu
...so i touched it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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